I changed the title of this post several times. I was going to write “Just going to keep trying” because it has gone from a few hard days to a few terrible days. It is difficult to stay in the frame of mind that requires staying positive when bouts of depression and pain kick in. All I can say is if you hang in there it will pass and it is starting to pass. And that is what I constantly remind myself. Life is like that. Full of ups and downs, hills and valleys. (Chuckling) I don’t think I have really ever hit the height of a peak in my life, but I am working in that direction. There is so much I want to say and to do. On days that I think that I can’t do “this life” anymore I remind myself of how far I have come and how much I want to do. I look out the window and look at the sun or if there is no sun, I look at the clouds and the rain. I look for one beautiful thing and go on from there.
I was sitting at the table trying to think of something to write the other day and I saw something fluttering from the pine trees in the back. At first I thought they were butterflies or small birds. But, they were seed pods from the trees. They released them in mass. Small, brown seed pods, whirling from the trees and carried on the wind. They flashed colors of gold and brown in the sunlight as they were carried away. I wish I had my camera I would have taken a picture or video. But, it was over as quickly as it started. I am a nature person and love the outdoors and I have never seen that. It was beautiful, graceful, and peaceful.
Life is like that. Moments of beautiful when you least expect it.
Because I can... 