Worst Case Scenario

One of the daily prompts is writing about a Worst Case Scenario. The immediate situation that came to mind is the loss of my family. If I was to lose my husband, my children, my grandchildren I know it would take all the strength within me to want to continue to live. I know I could survive. I have had to survive many bad and terrible situations. And I have done so reasonably well. But, the loss of my family would definitely be a near deal breaker to me. And what could keep me from giving up, from just letting myself go and die to be with them? The thought of how disappointed they would be. I would survive for them. And the thought that if I was still living and something so terrible had happened that wiped out my whole family I would know that God had something else for me to do. I am here for a purpose. I know that to the depth of my soul. If I was left behind then I know my purpose has not been fulfilled and I have more to do.

What would I do? I would find others to help. I would reach out to my brothers and sister. I would find my purpose which I have begun to realize is that I am here to help others. I am here to look outside of myself. And that is how you survive such a terrible thing. Is to find purpose and realize that God is still with you. There are people that would tell me that if there is a God and if he is a loving God he would never let such bad things happen. Especially to a person of faith. And I would tell them that I know that God is with me and he loves me. He is a good parent. He is there to spiritually support me, but he does not pull my strings, he does not do it all for me.

A child never learns to walk if they are carried all the time. There will be tears, scrapes and hurts that you feel you can never get over. But, you can and each event, each pain and your survival from it will help you to grow as a person, as a spirit. It is so difficult to see this at times and I throw temper tantrums like a three year old child. Stomping my feet and yelling til I am hoarse. It doesn’t change anything. I have to move through the pain and I have to move through the grief that has been in my life.

HaHa..I just thought of something. I thought okay..is what you said true if you lost your family and are still alive and you are hurt and can’t walk or move and you are lying out on a dirt road or in a field with no one around. Would I feel the same way. I would be angry, I would shout out to the sky..”ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!” Then I would pull myself along, yelling and screaming until I couldn’t move anymore. And I would think okay. If I am meant to survive someone will come. If not then it is my time and I will see all those I have loved and lost again. And I hope that I will have lived my life well and thank God for the time he has given me.