“What was the last picture you took? Tell us the story behind it. (No story behind the photo? Make one up, or choose the last picture you took that had one.)”
I had gone by Prater’s Mill-one of the only Flour/Grist Mills that survived Sherman’s March to Atlanta. It is a lovely spot and the reflections on the water were lovely.
“When was the last time you were ready to throw in the proverbial towel? Did you end up letting go, or decided to fight on anyway?”
This has been a difficult year. There has been family issues, there have been health issues, mental health issues and spiritual issues. It has been difficult to not want to delete my blog because I have been unable to stay positive enough to not feel as though I was being a hypocrite in keeping a blog titled “Because I can…”. I have written about it from time to time and have been amazed by the support I have gotten from my followers. Support I appreciate with all of my heart.
As I was doing research on various topics, especially in race relations, gender/sexual identity. I became more and more angry, more and more sad because of the division and outright hatred displayed toward people. As I discussed these topics with people it became apparent many times that discussion is almost impossible and it seems that there is more of a desire to fan the flames of hate and intolerance. Where will all of this lead us? Nowhere good. Suicide was on my mind a couple of times during this year, but I made the decision to not give in.
I quit doing my school work and was going to allow myself to fail, but I just couldn’t do it. Anymore than I could quit living. Darn it!!! I have worked to hard to get to where I am. I have fought, clawed, crawled and cried my way to the point I am now. And it isn’t great, but it is much better than it has been in the past and I am very thankful for the blessings that I do have. My family, my friends, my husband and my God. So, I finished my schoolwork; I re licensed for my Respiratory Therapy License; I have managed to keep off the weight I lost, except for 5 lbs. I am going to study for my CAPM and my Six Sigma Black Belt, my RRT, begin exercising again and keep my blogging and writing. How can I do all that without being overwhelmed? LOL…have no idea. Just one step at a time. One process at a time.
So, yes, there are times that I have felt that Enough is Enough and I wanted to throw in the towel, but have decided to brush myself off again and stand up and keep going. Even though as I type this I feel exhausted. It doesn’t matter. Because I can do it.
Because I can... 