What shall I do?

What shall I do? Confusion reigns most everyday. What direction do I go in? The road ahead is shrouded, the path is rocky and full of holes, some shallow some deep. Holes that once stepped in can be very hard to get out of.

Measured steps, cautious steps. Am I really going anywhere? I see glimpses of sun through the mist. Shining points of light on the path ahead. Showing where to step, even on holes with shimmering pools of water within. Are they deep or shallow? Only one way to find out. Sometimes you have to risk the holes to move ahead.


Published by

pavanneh

Retired Navy Cardiovascular Technician/Respiratory Therapist. Wife, mother, grandmother.

3 thoughts on “What shall I do?”

  1. Hello Blast from the Past!

    I feel like it has been forever since we have crossed paths. But I remember you from before when I was active and blogging. I can’t remember your details but I remember your name and remember you were around a lot when I was completely out of my mind.

    I’m still out of my mind but now I’m ridiculously happy while being completely crazy. Life has come around and we are riding waves of joy and togetherness.

    How has life been for you in these past years?

    Are you still feeling as you did in this post?

    It was so great seeing your name click that like on my page. I’m so glad you took the time to see that one because I was really inspired when writing it. It was like I was pulling out a piece of the Grand Divine.

    I am sincerely hoping for your wellness and peace of mind.

    Much love through the interweb!

    Kristan of Exploring Alura

  2. Hi Alura,
    It is nice to hear from you. I keep up with your posts and read them when I can. I have been so busy that I have not had time to do anything I enjoy anymore. Including writing. Work and studying. I am glad to see that you are still around. Even though you may be out of your mind. 😀 You have a fascinating mind and viewpoint, even in your wildest moments. I am also glad to see you are happy.
    Life has been good. It is hard to feel blessed even in the hard times, but I and my family have been very blessed. I am learning to be grateful for each day. And yes, I still feel like I did when I wrote this post. Still going forward, wary of the pitfalls and holes, but you have to keep going. There are too many times it would have been too easy to give up.
    It was an interesting post and I saved it. I want to read it over more carefully when I have time. I have to make time for myself and for the things I enjoy. Life is too short and I am now on the declining side. All that time gone, but not wasted. Nearly a lifetime full of pain and full of lessons right along with the joys. I would like to learn to focus on the joys.

    I sincerely hope for your wellness and peace of mind as well. I will continue watching and reading your story. There is much more to be told.

    Much love through the interweb!
    Pavanne

    1. Hello Pavanneh!

      I’m glad we crossed paths again. I apologize for the delay in getting back. The email notifying me of this comment went into my Social folder which I rarely check, but awesome that I did to see your comment there!

      I’m sorry to hear that you are so busy you aren’t able to find time to do those things that make us feel better about living. That is a rough place to be in. Because you need to do the things you need to do, but you also need to do the things that make you feel better about all the things you need to do. (lol That was really a sentence to type, felt like I was on repeat)

      ” I am glad to see that you are still around. Even though you may be out of your mind. 😀 You have a fascinating mind and viewpoint, even in your wildest moments. I am also glad to see you are happy.” These words make my heart so happy. So very happy. I wish I could make you feel my love through the internet. So much gratitude and appreciation is coming in your direction.

      “Life has been good. It is hard to feel blessed even in the hard times, but I and my family have been very blessed.” I am understanding where you are. When we were starving, homeless, and without any way to better the situation, it was hard to find gratitude in the moment. But I found the biggest thing in my life were the people I loved and no matter the trying circumstance, that love still buoyed me to better feelings. And that’s how I learned to start being grateful for each day.

      Because on the days I didn’t have my family around me, I still had the awareness that I could see them soon and that was better than having no family, ever. And when I found that one solid truth to be grateful for, I found my lifeline. And I held onto it for everything it was worth. And it got me through the hard times and into better days where now being grateful feels like a blessed gift of the divine (and one I wish to share with others).

      “I have to make time for myself and for the things I enjoy.” I sincerely hope you do. When you don’t make time for yourself, how are you going to feel cared for? How will you be happy when you don’t get a chance to do the things you enjoy? Where will you find your comfort to release the stress that life accumulates?

      “Life is too short and I am now on the declining side. All that time gone, but not wasted. Nearly a lifetime full of pain and full of lessons right along with the joys. I would like to learn to focus on the joys.” I learned to focus on the joy by releasing the pain of the past and the lessons I learned as important steps for bringing me to this moment in time, where I am who I wanted to be.

      Are you who you wanted to be? Have you been who you wanted to be? If either of those are no, then perhaps this may be why it is a struggle to find gratitude in the difficult times. With a negative inward look it often leads to a struggle to find the positive side of things. Release the negativity being internalized and open yourself up to the wonder of positivity manifestations.

      I hope you are doing so well. If you would like to keep in touch with each other through email, I would sincerely enjoy that. I would love to talk about everything you have going on and be a venting point if you need it. Or a stranger to chat with if you’re interested. My email is exploringalura@gmail.com No pressure to start up a conversation, just an invitation if you were interested. 🙂 ❤

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