We need a new movement in this country: Equalism!!

This post is in response to some of the posts I have seen on Opinionated Man’s Guest Bloggers section. The subject in particular that I have been responding to is concerning “Feminism” and what the word means today for both women and men. This post by Brandy Ramirez is well thought out, researched and it resonated with how I feel about feminism today.

http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/06/25/guest-post-our-misconstrued-perception-of-feminism

This post is by a gentleman who sees feminism in all the negativity that it is today. He wrote about his experiences with it, but I feel he has used biased sources and his own anger in justifying his position. Does he have a point? Yes, he does. And so do many others on both sides of the problem. Navigator1965’s post:

http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/06/24/why-i-dont-like-feminists

There have been a few posts on the subject by guest bloggers on “Harsh Reality-a Opinionated Man’s” Blog site and while I would like to credit all of them that have given thought and inspriation, these were the two that struck me the most.

In the comments I made and responded to there was one by mommyx4boys. I have read her posts before and don’t always agree with her and that is okay. But, something we both agreed on was perhaps a change in paradigm. A new name for the “Feminist” movement. It should be called “Equalism”.

I totally agree. I think we should begin one consolidated movement called “Equalism”. The purpose of this movement would be to eliminate the divisive wording in not just relations in sexual equality, but also in race equality. Let’s take out the  gender, gender identity and color out of the equation altogether and just start a movement for equal treatment for all people. Face down the issues that truly are unjust and keep us “unequal” based on what is happening to keep “us” from becoming better than we are.

The problems we are facing in resolving issues in this country concerning equality of any type is the labels we put on our various  causes. Labeling is divisive. It automatically puts what we want to talk about into a specific category thereby causing rifts right off the bat. There should be an all inclusive movement. One that looks at social, legal, gender problems from a strictly neutral viewpoint.

These are some of the issues that were brought up in discussing why men and women hate feminism as it stands today: Men should not be discriminated against in family courts when trying for custody of their children. Women should not be discriminated against when it comes to trying for custody of their children. It should be what is best for the children whether it is the father or mother. I know from experience that not all women should be mothers and there are terrible mothers. The fathers would have been a much better situation for the children. Courts and custody of children are used too often by both sexes as a means of revenge and no other reason.

There are physical differences between men and women. There are jobs that men are better at because they are more physically adapted for the work. Does it mean that there is not a woman out there that could do it? World War II and women working in the factories at “men’s” jobs demonstrated that they could. However, there were still jobs in those factories that had to be done by men for their physical strength. Women just have to deal with that fact. Just as a study of women and men under stressful situations proved that in reality, women were better at handling long term stress then men. A shocker for some men who keep saying the opposite.

There is a “fact” out there in the posts that keep saying the men work longer hours and that is just a fact, so they should be paid more and women need to get over it. Nowhere did they take into account the fact that the majority of women still go home and work. They take care of the kids, cook, clean, get the kids ready for bed after coming home from working a full day somewhere. It is amazing that their work after work is never taken into consideration when adjusting for how much someone works in some of these posts. Statistically fewer men come home from work and do all of that as well. Although I have to admit the numbers were higher than I thought and definitely higher than even 5 years ago. So, there is progress. The Bureau of Labor Statics shows some of these facts:

http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/atus.pdf

There is no doubting that women are more likely to be harassed in some form at work. Sexual intimidation through language or physical touching. The shame of it is that males are beginning to be harassed as much as women. Women have asked for equal rights and with those rights we are turning into abusers in the workplace ourselves. What does that say about us? Is that fair or right?

I could go on and on, but I won’t. There are too many issues. There needs to be a change in paradigm. What inspired me to write this post was a response to Ms. Ramirez’s post by Armenia4ever:

“Denounce the views of these extreme feminists as not being actual feminism. Honestly, there are so many different kinds of feminism – some of them really nasty because I have a pair of testicles – that I don’t know what the true representation is.

I’m to the point that I usually avoid getting into topics about feminism, the patriarchy, “male privilege”, ect.

I honestly suggest that you either reclaim the word from the radicals who have turned into a weapon, or find a new label that distinguishes you from the TERFs, RadFems, ect.”

Okay, if he means what he says, if the moderate feminists who want to go back to the original intentions of the feminist movement mean what they say then lets make a change. What is great about the “Equalism” movement is we can apply the principle to any of the issues that need to be addressed concerning equality and fair treatment of human beings. We need to reclaim the movement from the radicals in any of the push for “equality” movements and make them just about:

EQUALISM!!

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I was going to delete my blog Because I can….

I have not been writing enough for myself lately. No posts, just answering comments, giving my thoughts to what other people are saying. It allows me a voice, but it isn’t the same as writing for myself and telling my own stories. I have been very down on myself as of late. I have not been positive and I have not been doing what I need to do in order to become more positive. My blog is “Because I can” for a reason. A reason that I was allowing myself to forget. I was forgetting that I can. 

I read this story tonight and it has inspired me to continue with trying to write, to blog and learn. 

http://aishakhan0208.wordpress.com/2014/06/14/i-am-a-woman-who-survived

I am going to write a mission statement of sorts to myself. it is a reaffirmation and statement of what I believe. It is what I will continue to live by. No matter what anyone says.

What happened in my life was terrible. There are scars, there is still pain. But, I am not going to list everything that happened to me. I will not continually revisit it without purpose. When I do talk about it, I will be using my experiences to help others to find their strength. To find options and to find a way to get out of the darkness. I want to be able to show others going through similar experiences that they can come out the other side and not just survive, but be happy and survive. What has having those awful things happen to me done for me? It has taught me compassion for another. It has taught me to be non-judgmental. I will not give in to fear. I can be strong and become stronger. 

I will not give in to anger and fear. I have been allowing fear and anger of what is happening in the world, and what some people have said to me to cloud my judgement and my faith. When you  become angry and you give in to fear, it can lead to irrational thought. When you become irrational you cannot see the path. You cannot hear the truth. It blinds you to your faith. Faith leads you from fear and helps you to find the path and allows you to see more than what you think possible. 

I will be compassionate. I would prefer to err on the side of compassion and not have to worry about answering to God as to why I would turn my back on my brothers and sisters. 

I believe in the right of all people to love whom they choose. As long as they are an adult of legal age and consensual.

I believe in allowing the existence of all faiths as long as they do not interfere with the practice of another’s faith or harm another person. I have to admit that I am conflicted with this one as I do not believe that Sharia law is a humane practice and that the violence perpetrated against women in the name of honor (which is not honorable at all) gives me some issues. 

I happen to believe in the premise of the Constitution of the United States and it’s original intention. We have a great country. Even with all our problems. We the people of this country hold so much power in our hands. We can control our own destinies if we would just think, not be so reactionary and really value the freedoms that we have. We can speak, we can write, we can protest-peacefully. There are so many countries where that is not possible. 

I really believe we need a ” Celebrate Humanity Month”. This month will celebrate the diverse nature of humanity. We should have block parties and discussions and make opportunities to mend fences with our neighbors. There needs to be open discussions on race and how to improve relations between all the races that live in this country. Improved education in the schools that really stress the accomplishments of all races in the development of inventions and in the creation of this country. Our country was founded on the blood of the Native Americans, white slavery, black slavery, Asian slavery. There is no getting around that. What we can do is move past it and realize that while it matters how we got here, it matters even more where we are going. And where we end up is up to all of us. 

I believe in the right to bear arms. While it has been said that letting everyone have a gun is tantamount to creating an old west scenario, that is just not the truth. Of course there needs to be education, regulation and punishment for the breaking of the rules. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. “If they didn’t have a gun, they wouldn’t have killed someone” is an argument I have heard before. People killed each other before there were guns, they will continue to do so with or without them. I prefer to be able to defend myself if someone threatens me or my family. 

I realize as I am typing this, there is so much I believe, so much I want to talk about in my life. Too much to write about now.

I will speak my mind, write my stories and poems, post my photographs. Yes, I am going to do that. 

 

 

 

Because I can…

When I thought of this title for my blog it was meant to be a statement. It was meant to state that anything could be possible because I can do something or I can try. There are many situations that can prevent someone from accomplishing a goal or even setting goals. However, trying is key. Because I can try can often lead to Because I did. I am going to dedicate this blog to the social issues I encounter while volunteering at DocUp and eventually with other organizations. I want the “Because I can..” to be applicable to others who wish to succeed and change and promote the betterment of themselves and their society. Because “we” can do that. We can make positive changes and it starts with “Because I can..” Because one individual starts a program or volunteers to help with a program. Because they reach out their hand and take the time to give part of themselves for the greater good and then help others to get involved. That is what is important and why “Because I can..” is so important to me.