I have been thinking a lot lately about knowing when to move on. When is it okay to stop punishing yourself for things in the past and let them go? Or do you need to keep the memories and allow them to lash your mind and your soul in punishment forever?
I have always found it hard to let go of mistakes I have made in the past. Especially ones that have hurt another person, ones that hurt my family. As I have been working on family issues, memories of mistakes I made have been playing in my head. Sadness and regret have been overwhelming me the last few days. I need to move forward and I can’t because of the ties to the past. I have stated to others that they hold the chains that hold them back with their own hands. And it is true.
Horrible things happen to people all the time. People do horrible things to each other all the time. It is how we respond which makes the difference in whether good or bad comes out of it in the long. This post probably makes it sound like I am some heartless person who hurts others. It isn’t that. I get no pleasure out of hurting others and certainly none from hurting myself. However, I do not want to forget what happens to others when you hurt them. I want to take responsibility and own the things I have done in my past. I want to grow from them and not repeat them. I want to be stronger and kinder.
When do you know when to let go? When the pain no longer teaches you or makes you stronger. When the chains just weigh you down and make you tired and defeated and keep your feet planted firmly in the past. Making it hard for you to move forward and forward is where you need to go. Does it make what happened in the past go away or justify it? No. But, you cannot accomplish anything, you cannot grow if you stand in one place.
4 thoughts on “When do you know when to let it go.”
I think the best way to make it up to those you hurt and to yourself is (to paraphrase Gandhi)
Be the change you want to see in yourself and others!
Apologies are good. Never doing it again is better.
I have his saying in a frame on my desk. 😀
“When the pain no longer teaches you or makes you stronger.” Mmm, very good. We are our worst critic, and sometimes enemy. Self-flagellation won’t rewrite history. But remember, we are but a small part of others’ history. THEY are consumed with thEiR story, their fears, their mistakes, their longings – which we often happened to walk into, not necessarily create.
Do you think making amends, an expression of regret? First forgive yourself. XO